Neither party seems to be really addressing any of the big issues bedeviling Britain, including mounting debt, crumbling public services, and a stagnant economy.
Labour insists it’s got a big plan to turbo-charge growth by spending a bit of money and doing things a bit more competently. The Conservatives say massive Labour tax hikes are coming. It’s all a little vague, to say the least.
The campaign has been most notable so far, though, for some spectacular own goals from Sunak’s Conservatives.
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Sunak managed to — and we’re promising we didn’t just make this up — offend the entire country by leaving a somber commemoration with World War II D-Day veterans early to … do a TV interview. He later apologized for insulting war heroes, so at least he’s got that over Donald Trump.
Never to be outdone in the drama stakes, Sunak’s own party then caused him a massive headache when it emerged that Conservative insiders had placed suspicious-looking bets on the timing of the election date just days before it was called.
Sorry, what?!
Yes. The Tories had to drop their backing for two of their own candidates after Britain’s gambling regulator started probing suspicious bets laid with bookmakers in the run-up to Sunak calling the vote. Sunak’s police bodyguard was suspended and arrested over the row, too.
By contrast, Labour has been dull to fault. A week-long row about left-wing candidates being replaced with young, centrist Starmer loyalists faded pretty quickly, and the trickiest moments for the Labour leader have come from repeated questioning over his tax plans and past backing for Corbyn.
There’s also a lingering sense that voters aren’t exactly sold on Starmer himself and are more interested in punishing the Tories after 14 years in power.
That’s a dynamic Nigel Farage hopes to seize on as he tries to eclipse the Tories on the right.
Him again?
Yep. Donald Trump’s mate — and arguably the most effective force in British politics for decades — ain’t going anywhere.
Farage has never been a member of parliament, instead leading highly effective campaigning forces from the outside that have made the Conservatives squirm on migration and Europe.
But this time he’s a central player. The Brexiteer rabble-rouser initially insisted he was going to sit this election out, but decided to go all-in with a headline grabbling U-turn that put rocket boosters under the whole campaign.
Farage is running for a seat in parliament, which he looks set to win. He has taken over the leadership of Reform UK, a right-wing challenger party which, in some polls, is outpacing the centuries-old Conservatives.
So could Britain wake up to prime minister Farage on July 5?
Nah. Reform currently has just one MP. Polls predict its number of MPs after the election will still be in the single figures or low teens.
But there is a chance Reform actually gets a higher national vote share than the Conservatives and costs it a host of seats across the country by splitting the vote on the right.
That will hand Starmer an even bigger majority and could have major repercussions for any post-election Tory leadership contest, assuming Sunak resigns — and could even put Farage on a path to becoming the leader of the opposition within a decade.
Anything else we need to know before we get back to our real country?
Yes! The two guys vying for office here are watching the U.S. election closely, too.
Starmer is a social democrat and will be cheering Biden on in November if Labour wins. But his party has been forging links with Donald Trump’s team and key Republicans just in case.
Even Starmer’s foreign policy chief, David Lammy — who once called Trump a “neo-Nazi-sympathizing sociopath” — is sounding much warmer about the Republican firebrand now.
Brits cosying up to the Americans for influence? Surely not?
Look we just want to be you, OK? Is that a crime? Your teeth are better and you don’t put washing machines in the kitchen.
Even our prime minister is in on the act.
The Tory leader has been fawning over U.S. tech execs in office, and already owns a swanky house in California — so don’t be surprised if he crops up in Silicon Valley after an election defeat. Lucky you!